The Art of Trying Again
So I know I’m dating myself, but here it goes. As a teenager I would replay a favorite song on a cassette over and over and over again in order to write down every word to the song. Sometimes this task would take hours. Write a few words. Erase a few words. Rewind the cassette. Replay the song. Write a few more words. It was a repetitive process until I wrote every word. It never felt grueling. I was totally into it.
For me, creating this blog has been very much the same process. I’ve refocused, redesigned, and replayed my ideas over and over all in the attempt to capture the complete essence of USimplyBeam. The difference being, I am the artist putting “stuff” out into the world not the listener or reader trying to absorb what is being expressed. I find being the artist very challenging.
I use the word artist very loosely here. I view any creative person as being an Artist. That leaves the door wide open for just about anyone. When I was growing up, I felt confined thinking artists were people who only drew, painted or wrote. But today, I think being an artist is so much more than that. I think it’s what you perceive yourself to be. Not so much what you think others see.
For months I’ve been toying around the idea of whether or not to continue creating USimplyBeam. Taking an unintentional break from blogging this last year, left me wondering how badly I really wanted to be a blogger. Had my purpose changed? My why?
When I started USimplyBeam, I was anxious to create a brighter more improved me. Initially, I was in it 100%. As time went on, my interests became muddled by fear, uncertainty, excuses, and comparison. Looking back, I think the unintentional break may have been more intentional than I thought. I was really doubting myself.
I came close to closing the doors on USimplyBeam. Then an eye-opening book called You Are a Badass: How to Stop Doubting Your Greatness and Start Living an Awesome Life by Jen Sincero change my perspective. Chapter 26 Doing vs. Spewing caught my attention the most. In there, Jen writes, “There’s a statistic that says only 5 percent of people who sign up for something, like a course or a seminar, actually do anything with it.” Well, guess what? I’m the other 95 percent in this case. With this realization, I’ve decided to be the 5%.
Becoming an artist loosely said takes a lot of badassery I’ve learned. USimplyBeam is not where I thought it would be by now having worked on it now for three years. Most of what I’ve learned about becoming a brighter and more improved me has been behind the scenes so to speak. Now it’s time to start projecting my badass out into the world.
My approach is going to be very different and casual. I don’t want to become so absorbed by the outcome (my past mistake) that I forget to just enjoy the process of being and expressing myself. Letting the artist in me come out. Now I just need to practice putting myself out there and writing what comes to mind.
Thank you for reading.