The Miracle of Love

I want to share a powerful experience I had earlier this month. During my morning meditation, I became completely overwhelmed with Love. I tapped into an experience that was the opposite of what I believed it to be. As I felt this emotion tears filled my eyes, and it felt like I had released years of self-BLAMING.

Photo credentials The Dollar Photo Club

Let’s take a few steps back.

This month, I started reading Gabrielle Bernstein’s book May Cause Miracles. It’s only recently that I’ve let Gabby into my world. I’ve heard of her many times over the past few years but never really thought I would gain much. Why? Because at that time, what she taught just wasn’t my thing.

Everything changed when I started my mediation practice. I searched online to find some mentors (I’m all about mentors), and I found Gabby. I was ready this time around. I started following her on Facebook and Instagram and began really enjoying what she was teaching.

So, I decided to buy one of her books, and I started reading it.

What’s the book about?

In a nutshell, it’s about overcoming fear and how the ego gets in our way. It takes you through a 40-day process of subtle shifts to change your inner dialogue. I’m all about this stuff.

Each day, you’re guided through an exercise. You start your day with a morning reflection and end your day with an evening exercise. I’ve completed 9 days, and it’s a pretty easy routine to fit into your day. The most important thing is that you’ve got to want to make the change, which she expresses in the book.

Daily affirmations fill you with Love.

And I love them. The other morning, I woke up early feeling a little glum. The night before I’d checked Facebook real quick before going to sleep, and I shouldn’t have. Major life-jealousy thing happening. My ego kicked in causing a storm of limiting beliefs.

Anyway. I woke up, dragged my glum butt downstairs, and began my morning practice of getting my day started on the right foot. I heated up my warm cup of water — Yes, I drink warm water in the morning. What? — and made myself cozy on the couch, my early morning meditation space.

I started my May Cause Miracles exercise Day 5 The F Word – Learning to Forgive. I was intrigued by this lesson because it focused on self-forgiveness. To some degree, I thought is was going to be the same old, same old, but it wasn’t.

Sure, Gabby talked about getting in touch with your fears and changing your inner dialogue, but what was different was her approach and the affirmation she presented.

“I forgive myself for choosing fear. Today I choose love instead.

Isn’t that the best affirmation? I’d never in my entire life thought about my past experiences in this way — “forgive myself for choosing fear.” New concept for me. I had no idea that I was choosing fear over love. And that my fear-based stories came from somewhere so deep within me. The realization of this statement touched the deepest part of my heart. I felt a comfort that I hadn’t felt before. It was reassuring.

I put the affirmation in my phone’s daily reminder and began my morning meditation.

Morning meditation rocks, like a warm wake-me-up shower.

And my meditation rocked that morning. Somehow (and I say “somehow” because I’m new to meditating) during my meditation I tapped into my fear of not being good enough. Ugh! Attached to that fear was me as a little girl whom I hadn’t connected with in a very long time. (Don’t get me wrong, here, I had a great childhood. Just sh*t happens.) This little girl, though, had experienced a lot, and at the core of her wounded experiences, she had been led to believe that she just wasn’t good enough.

Here’s the best part. During the mediation, I felt those wounds. Like, really felt them. I have never tapped into her like that. Sure, I’ve thought about her and written about her in my journal, but I haven’t FELT her in a very long time.

And you know what? That little girl rocks. She felt so strong and so brave and smart and kind and so sincere. Love was beaming from her. It was like she was hugging me and telling me, “It’s ok.” — And the tears flooded and the love opened up and the FORGIVENESS began.

The miracle of love that I received was a beautiful experience. I’m sure I’m not doing it justice.

My realization…

Is absolutely powerful. Not one time in my life have I thought of my wounded experiences as fear-based choices. And that I chose fear over love. Such an enlightenment. I’ve given myself so much grief over those choices. Resentment has built up for decades because of those choices. It makes me angry that I’ve spent so much time and energy on those fear-based stories.

What I’m realizing is that the ego takes control of so many thoughts and actions. It thinks it’s protecting you, but in reality it’s leading you down a path of dishonesty. I have to admit, that I always thought the ego to be a good thing. I’ve envied people with strong egos. I don’t envy them anymore, because when you lead with your ego, you’re not leading with your truthfulness.

No longer am I on that path. Hip hip hooray! I feel like I’ve actually tapped into all of that and have begun to release that resentment and forgive myself for choosing fear. I have a lot more work to do, though, and am so grateful for what I’ve discovered so far.

I suggest that you take a look at your fear-based stories, if you want to of course. Dig deep. Where did they start from?

Now it’s your turn. Have you ever experienced anything so deep that it was a complete eye opener? Let me know. I’m a student of life and always have more to learn. Leave a comment below.

Thank you for reading.

Beth xoxo

 

Photo: Dollar Photo Club

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USimplyBeam

"pursue the things you love doing and then do them so well that people can't take their eyes off of you." - Maya Angelou

EST. 2014